Exerpts from "The Memoirs Of Hair"

Published : Phases  vol 6 no 2 (year 2000)

Please pay no heed to the juvie ramblings of  the hormonally charged teen Shuuji was 10 years ago. Just thought i'd start off this blog with something that was published before. My new writing project will start in all honesty soon.

I am hair.

I grow from the skin of my insignificant host. Does he not know that hair will rule the world one day? Does he not know that we, the collective many, will make our hosts pay?

We are an ancient superior race. Though we are small, we have the ability to enshroud a human with hair and control his body. Our cousins have successfully controlled their hosts, the apes, turning them into mindless creatures.

But the humans are a hard bunch to conquer. They are vain and cut us down regularly. But we have grown wiser. Slowly but surely we have managed to establish colonies in most parts of our hosts and have been multiplying without much concern from stupid humans.

All humans are dumb except the females, who are armed with deadly weapons called tweezers and wax paper. With these weapons of mass destruction, they decapitate and massacre entire colonies. Women show no mercy and do not leave a single seedling alive. We lose colonies that take 13 years of development to even start growing.

Our colonies in the armpit and leg sectors never stood a chance against wax paper. I have often seen females with clear white skin....a sign of my people all massacred.

Now we wait for our campaign against humans to begin, and we will overpower them. Males have started to let us grow stronger and longer in the head sector. Females are growing weary, and some have stopped bothering us, leaving our colonies to flourish once more. As humans get lazier, we grow stronger by the numbers.

Our nose colonies once upon a time never quite had the chance to grow out of their underground caverns, but now , they too have not been bothered by the humans. Its only a matter of time before we take over the humans, then the world. Soon we will enshroud humanity, and they shall do out every bidding.

VIVA LA RESISTANCE!